Gratitude

After reading 365grateful.com I have become inspired to start recognizing what I am grateful for. So often we go days, weeks, months, even years without ever acknowledging our gratitude. Life just flies by as if with no true meaning. The special moments are taken for granted and the beauty in our lives is overlooked.

So, for today, and hopefully the next 365, I will write down, photograph, or simply acknowledge my gratitude. Whether it's the beauty of the mountains or the sound of my children sleeping. A simple nod or quiet hello to the moment so it doesn't go unnoticed.

Life does get busy, and I forget to stop and smell the roses,  so I am hoping this exercise will help me on my path to gratitude.

Today's gratitude is for a note that was scribbled on my bathroom mirror. It was 5am and I was tired, grumpy and rushing to get out to the gym. I looked up from brushing my teeth and saw this lovely note from my husband. "You are my best friend" xo 6

So today I am grateful for him and his abundance of thoughtfulness.

Why do I Need an iPad?

 VS. 

I am writing to you from an ageing and archaic device which is breathing it's lasts breaths....It has served me well and has cost me nothing (other than a few hours of aggravation).

I am writing to ask the age old question... WHY DO I NEED AN IPAD???? Can it be my sole technological device - the one that supports me and all that comes with me? Can it store my pictures - read my emails - write my blogs - create my documents - watch my favourite shows?  Will it annoy me that I do not have a keyboard?  When I am sitting in bed or at my desk, wanting to type - will I be irritated by it's lack of stability? Where will it sit? Will I have to hold it? Because as I type right now my laptop sits comfortably on my lap ( as the name would suggest) and I look at it's lovely big screen.  I get a sense of accomplishment as I hear the keyboard go tap tap tap.... Will I miss this? Will I miss that wonderful snap/click sound as I close my computer? Safely snapping in all my documents.

I am reminded of when I had to decide between my Nokia flip phone and a new blackberry pearl - remember that far back? It was one of the hardest decisions I had ever had to make  - before children, a simpler time. After days. possibly weeks of deliberation I chose the pearl, but not without regret.... I missed that snap as the flip clicked the phone shut.  The hours spent texting for lack of a qwerty keypad. The solid weight and bulk of all it's glorious hardware..I think about that phone often and still wonder if I made the right decision.  (Luckily we kept the phone for our kids to play with - my daughter once asked me what it was.)  I have since upgraded to the iphone 4s and I have to admit it is a little piece of genius , but again I had to be convinced that I needed it. I was perfectly happy with my iphone 3GS. 

I do not like change. I am not one to make rash decisions. If money doesn't need to be spent I won't spend it. And I don't like bringing unnecessary things in to our house. Most decisions I make  have to go through a vigorous thought process - lists of pros and cons.  Questions. Surveys. Polls. Waffling back and forth....Should I? Shouldn't I? Do I really "need" this? Can I live with the old one? Does it matter that some of the letters on the keyboard don't always work or that the scroll bar is inoperable? Today it matters. Tomorrow maybe not...

I am a massage therapist -not an I.T. wizard. I don't require a fancy computer.  I have valuable pictures and videos. Important emails to tend to. A blog to maintain. Videos and photo books to make. Research to do and the occasional bad TV show to watch...

So.....I ask IS THE IPAD WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR? and if not what is?

PS - I realize that this is completely a http://first-world-problems.com/ but none the less....

If

If I could take you with me. Hold you in my arms.  Share those special moments when Lola does something extraordinary or Taya makes me laugh. If  I could have your shoulder to cry on when I feel sad. Your fingers to rub my back when I can't fall asleep. You to talk to when I have no idea what I am doing. To tell me everything is going to be o.k. You to buy me "veal" tofu and tell us that tuna really isn't fish because it's in a can. You to walk with on Goose Rocks Beach. And you to call when I need advice, a recipe or a hug.

But I can't take you with me.  You are not here. But if I could I would and I would never let you go.

Trick or Trick?!?!?!

 

- Superman-ballerina-happy witch -

When did dressing up as a nurse become dressing up as a slutty nurse or a super hero become super tight, super slutty, super sexy?  How is this in any way appropriate, and why do we as parents allow it to continue? What kind of message are we sending our daughters when we send them out in these costumes?  What does this say about us as a society? Why can't we slow down the growing up process and hold on to the innocence? Our girls need better role models. Stronger figureheads. More imagination less exploitation. 

I vow to you my girls and to all the little girls in my life- to not send you out in slutty witch/superhero costumes.To not buy those costumes.  To encourage you to be creative and imaginative.  To use your brains instead of your looks.  To embrace your female powers. To stand up for yourselves and not hide behind society's depiction of you.  I will do my best to instil confidence and self love. To be the change I want to see.  Your example to follow.  

Until then I can only hope that Superman-Ballerina - Happy Witch will continue to believe that the sky is the limit.

Staged

Home staging as described by Wikipedia: The act of preparing a private residence for sale in the real estate marketplace. The goal of staging is to make a home appealing to the highest number of potential buyers, thereby selling a property more swiftly and for more money..
My definition: Hide all the shit you don't want anyone to see and pretend like you live a life void of clutter and chaos.  Pretend that your two small children don't play with toys or make messes. Pretend like your bed always looks that way, and that you have fresh flowers in EVERY room EVERY day.  
Is staging your house necessary? Does it matter if my sheets are wrinkled and there is a fire truck in my kitchen? That you can't eat off the floor of my GARAGE?. That the leaves actually fall from the tree? If selling your house is the objective - yes.
After a weekend filled with rearranging furniture, painting walls, taking down family photos - putting up "neutral" ones - stripping our house of that trademark "Albertson" warmth, I am left feeling a little sad.  If we do too good a job someone might like our house enough to buy it.  Then what???  Then we have no house? Then we have to leave?  Leave our beautiful home.  A home that it has taken us just this long to make a home.  A home that has been host to countless parties and family gatherings -  The meeting place for our nearest and dearest.  So many happy times.  Momentous occasions  - milestone birthdays, first words, first steps.  Friendships rekindled and a deeper love found. A place that I and I think we called "home". 
Beds covered in soft cuddly teddy bears. Walls filled with beautiful pictures of our family - Bath tub and basement filled with toys - shelves filled with wonderful books. Vanished.  Staged.
I am thankful for the time we have spent here, and am kept moving forward with the knowledge that the love, laughter and memories can't be staged and will follow us wherever we go.


PS - Anyone want to buy a house?

Unwanted

For just a day. No I needs. No I wants. No please mommy's. To be the anonymous person in the room that no one needs or wants.  The person that can go about the day with not a care in the world. Do whatever she wants. Go wherever her heart takes her.  No lunches to make.  No shoes to tie. No diapers to change. A day filled with no obligations. No deadlines. No demands. A day to do nothing or everything.  A day to be selfish - not selfless.
Ignorant of it's existence, that time has passed.  Happy to have had it. Thankful that it no longer exists. 
Wanted.

Aren't we Lucky

A wonderful man.  He touched our lives in so many ways.  He made us smile.  He made us laugh. He made us think.  He inspired us to live. To fight. To follow our dreams. The glass always half full. Lemons in to lemonade. Self pity- a four letter word. A wise man. A kind man. A loving man.

Loved. Admired. Inspired. 

Lie on the grass.  Look up to the sky. Aren't we lucky to have known you.